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NVC Resources on Feelings

  1. It Takes a Community to Raise a Relationship

    It Takes a Community to Raise a Relationship

    Eric Bowers

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Using his own life experience, Eric explores why we need support from others, what support might look like, and what blocks us from asking for support for our relationships.

  2. Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/23/2023

    Trainer Tip: When we express appreciation using words like "good", "great" or anything else evaluative, it conveys we are in the position to judge, and that we've judged them or their actions. Instead, to express appreciation without judgment state what they did, how you feel about what they did, and which of your needs are met by their behavior. Such an expression of appreciation clearly states how your life was enriched, without judgement.

  3. Tips for the Road Series Tip 12

    Tips for the Road Series Tip 12

    Connect to the Living Energy of Your Needs

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/1/2017

    For many, the word “need” is associated with lack, neediness, and scarcity. These associations are the opposite of the meaning of needs in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In NVC, needs are the motivational energy of our innate wholeness and desire to grow, like the energy of a plant pushing it up through the soil and toward the sun.

  4. Choosing Your Response

    Choosing Your Response

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/2/2023

    Trainer Tip: We have four choices of how to respond to someone, even when they say things that are hard to hear. We can blame the speaker, blame ourselves, we can self empathize by acknowledging our feelings and needs, or we can empathize with the other person's feelings and needs. Be aware of these options and consciously make your choice based on the needs you want to meet.

  5. It’s All About Please and Thank You

    It’s All About Please and Thank You

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/3/2019

    Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or thank you in your conversations today.

  6. Creating Real Challenges—Are you Game?

    Creating Real Challenges—Are you Game?

    Martha Lasley

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 10/21/209

    A challenge is an expansion of making a clear, positive doable request — and, when given, the person feels deeply seen by the challenger. A challenge isn't just about getting someone to take action on something important to them; it's a fierce form of empathy that supports people in connecting with their life force, and integrates it into their lives with action. A real challenge is tied to the receiver's goals, passions and dreams -- and expands their potential.

  7. The Gift of Understanding

    The Gift of Understanding

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/10/2017

    Trainer Tip: All people long for understanding. It is such an easy thing to give, yet rarely do we see its importance in creating peace of mind.

  8. Expressing Appreciation

    Expressing Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 10/17/2020

    Trainer tip: When you want to thank someone expressing what that person did, how you felt about and what needs were met for you, can provide the other person with more information. It can also help her more fully understand how she contributed to you, and deepen your connection with her.

  9. How Anger Can Help or Hinder

    How Anger Can Help or Hinder

    LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 9/25/2023

    We can use anger as an important signal to let us know that we perceive a threat to a universal need or value, directing our attention to something so that we can take effective action, and avoid harmful thought patterns. For example, instead of dwelling on a "should," focus on addressing unmet needs through boundaries and effective communication.

  10. Being Persistent About Getting Our Needs Met

    Being Persistent About Getting Our Needs Met

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/6/2024

    Trainer Tip: When in a conflict that doesn’t seem to have a solution being aware of your needs, and then being creative and flexible about getting them met, can go a long way to coming up with creative solutions that work for everyone.

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