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Confidence, flexibility, creativity and equanimity may become more possible when you would like someone to meet a particular need, can trust that you can meet that need with someone else, and can accept a “no” to your requests. You can allow grief or disappointment to arise, and naturally turn towards a relationship in which those needs can be met. In some cases this may lead to the dissolution of a partnership or friendship.

This document is for organizations that want to integrate NVC. The intention is to use conflict as a stimulus to personal growth, more open and honest relationships, and life-affirming change. It mentions using NVC skills such as self connection, empathy, honesty, and requests (and protective use of force as last resort) to navigate the conflict with an intention of connection.

Relationship repair means building connection and care after disconnect and unmet needs. It requires intention to connect and take responsibility for your behavior by naming what didn’t work, offering empathy, and making a plan to do something differently next time. When you have enough empathy to find care and curiosity for them, reflect the other person's observation, thoughts, feelings, needs and requests. Focus on this more than on details of the event.

When you hear yourself saying that you are being abandoned, turn toward your experience with compassion and curiosity. Check in with your interpretations, feelings, and needs. Reach out for support. This can help dissolve feelings of reactivity and allow perspective. You are then able to make requests of yourself about what you’d like to do differently in the future to honor for your needs when making a choice.

An exploration of four types of feedback: destructive criticism, constructive criticism, feedback by demonstration and dialogue.

Ask the Trainer: "In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals...?"

In this inspiring video, Gina Cenciose, CNVC Certified Trainer and Inner Relationship Focusing Guide and Instructor, offers an in-depth view of the distinctions and similarities between NVC and Inner Relationship Focusing (also known as IRF and Focusing).

This 4 session telecourse recording offers practices while exploring the relationship between the core elements of NVC and universal spiritual principles.

Can you give me advice on what to do when people won't talk to me? I find it very difficult to discover what their needs are that aren't being met! Also, how can I be effective with people who don't actually want to think about why they're being the way they are?

Trainer Tip: Sometimes the best way to get our need me is to first connect with the needs of another.