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NVC Resources on Connection

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  1. I Want to Leave When Facing Anger

    I Want to Leave When Facing Anger

    Arnina Kashtan

    Video · 4 minutes · 12/12/2021

    Receiving anger from another can be a reactive trigger for many of us. In this brief segment, Arnina provides us a strategy for staying in the conversation instead of physically leaving.

  2. Six Ways That Support You Being Heard

    Six Ways That Support You Being Heard

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 6 - 9 minutes · 1/16/2022

    When you don't have a sense of being heard you can apply skills to help you can interrupt cycles of reactivity and resentment, and create connection. Let's look at six ways that will support you in being heard. These are clarity about the topic and needs; supportive conditions; respect for autonomy; sharing your intention; attending to emotional security; and making clear requests.

  3. The Nature of Your Reactions

    The Nature of Your Reactions

    Robert Gonzales

    Video · 3 minutes · 04/22/2022

    Responding to your own reactivity is an inside job. Robert reveals how your reactions are often a secondary reaction to a triggering stimulus, and that accepting responsibility for your reactions can lead to less blame and more inner peace.

  4. Recognize and Manage Reactivity About Your Cause

    Recognize and Manage Reactivity About Your Cause

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 05/10/2022

    When we care about our cause and want to mitigate disaster, we may become reactive. However, transformation comes through connection, rather than convincing, judging, criticising, controlling, and making demands of others. To inspire change, get curious about how they relate to the topic – and get support for yourself elsewhere to process grief, become more present and compassionate, speak self-responsibly, and make requests.

  5. If we are in the dominant group, intervening to prevent violence or an "ouch" is a way to ally with marginalized folks. We can intervene to meet their needs, rather than our own. In other words, we can intervene without putting our experience at center stage. To that end, here are six ways to ask if an intervention is welcome.

  6. Honor Your Need to be Heard

    Honor Your Need to be Heard

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 2 - 3 minutes · 9/26/2020

    When you want to be heard, first check if your listener is available. This honors yourself, and the other person’s choice about listening. You need to be clear about wanting a particular quality of listening, and that you are willing to wait if that isn’t available in the moment. Read on for how to ask for listening in a way that can build trust that your request isn't a demand.

  7. Create Choiceful Listening

    Create Choiceful Listening

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 2/28/2023

    Often, honoring someone’s choice supports more connection. Thus, checking in with someone’s choice to listen or not (offering autonomy) sets the stage for being heard more fully. On the other hand, when someone has the perception that you are talking to them without considering their choice, resentful listening might result. Here are ways to mindfully check in about choiceful listening before starting a conversation.

  8. Interrupt cycles of conflict by creating a new ways forward. You can do this by connecting with the energy of the met needs you want in the dynamic; guessing the other person's needs; naming your needs; asking essential questions; identifying at least three different strategies to meet each need; and imagining the positive outcome.

  9. Roxy Manning discusses the connection between the challenges parents face with their children and the qualities they want them to develop. She highlights the importance of aligning actions with desired outcomes, using the example that if parents value independence, they should encourage choice rather than demanding compliance. She encourages parents to consider the long-term impact of their parenting choices on shaping their children's future behavior.

  10. In a world facing crisis and deep divides, there's a need for empathic community and connection. Here we reflect upon the importance of empathy, consciousness, and building a sense of community to address complex challenges and promote well-being. Slowing down, engaging in empathic conversations, and committing to a practice of empathy and mindfulness could be essential for personal and societal transformation.
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