NVC Resources on Presence
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NVC Life Hacks 35
Hearing a difficult message
Being put on the spot or confronted in an unexpected way can be an unpleasant experience to have. Even more so during lockdown when meetings are held on Zoom.
In Life Hack 35 we're exploring the feelings that come up from hearing a difficult message as well as ways you can respond. Esme recently had this experience and offered to record a one on one session with Gesine to explore the situation.
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Here's guidance on how to approach your inner experience when triggered or stuck in a distressing life experience. Self-Compassion in life can be experienced as: "There is room for life experience in me. There is an open space for ‘what is’ to be fully present in my inner experience". This exercise is more about tracing your felt experience than verbalizing it.
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Jori and Jim Manske explore strengthening your empathy "muscle" for your own well being. Empathy can be a means to strengthen your own resilience, as well as being present for another person.
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Responding to your own reactivity is an inside job. Robert reveals how your reactions are often a secondary reaction to a triggering stimulus, and that accepting responsibility for your reactions can lead to less blame and more inner peace.
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Grief is often confused with anguish. Anguish is a painful feeling that comes along with deep resistance to an experience or truth. Grief that leads to healing is an expansive state. It is a willingness to be with an experience and truth. If you're not resisting grief, then it's a neutral-to-pleasant experience. Pleasant sensations can include a sense of space and relief as something is integrated and tense holding releases.
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Anger is neither good nor bad. When you don't foresee it or you haven't cultivated a relationship to anger, you may behave from it and hurt yourself and others. There are three reasons anger may rise: primitive anger, resistance, and lack of resources. For practicing with these last two types of anger, we'll look at four practices: cultivate awareness, pause and expand, self-care and planning, and allow grief.
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While we can’t control other’s behavior, we can choose how we show up. With forethought and care, we can approach interactions with more clarity, love, and skill. Read on for practices that include: Choose wise attention, ask better questions, practice deep listening, structure the conversation, know your limits, speak your truth, share your personal stories, be present and recall permanence.
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The Spirituality of Nonviolent Communication
(6 Session Course)
Discover how the perennial strength of compassion and the living energy of needs can help you develop resilience in order to remain present with yourself and others amidst today's challenges.
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Trainer Tip: Silent empathy can be a powerful way of contributing to someone's life, giving them the gift of our presence.
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Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.