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NVC Resources on Conflict

  1. I See the Spirit in You

    I See the Spirit in You

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/26/23

    Trainer Tip: We can voice our upset about a situation and still see the higher self in the other person. Honest expression can deepen connection and bring us closer to resolution and connection, when we're not judging them. To know that they're a spiritual being, but think they're an insensitive slob or egotistical bore, is a contradiction. Instead, look for the needs they want to meet. See the spiritual being in everyone—even yourself.

  2. Nonviolent Facilitation as a Path to the Future

    Nonviolent Facilitation as a Path to the Future

    (3 session course)

    Miki Kashtan

    Multi-session Course · 3 - 4 hours · 7/26/2024

    What does nonviolence have to do with group facilitation?

    Miki Kashtan believes that nonviolence is a way of being and living that orients us in all our thoughts, words and deeds toward the integration of truth, love and courage. All nonviolent individual and collective actions are aimed at preserving what serves life and challenging what does not. Facilitation is one clear path for bringing nonviolence to the world!

    How can we act now, as facilitators, as if the world of our dreams, the Beloved Community, is already in place?

  3. I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

    I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/7/2022

    Trainer Tip: We have a better chance of getting our needs met if we prioritize connecting with one another's needs more than being right. This way we can reduce the chances of conflict arising. We also increase the possibility we can find ways everyone’s needs can be met.

  4. Miki Kashtan hosts Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a mother who is experiencing a strained relationship with her recently married daughter after a verbal “attack” from the daughter. Miki guides the caller to connect with her feelings of fear and her needs for ease of connection, and to further connect with her daughter’s needs.

  5. Recovering from Reactivity Series

    Recovering from Reactivity Series

    Taking a Step Back

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Audio · 14 minutes · 5/28/2013

    Join Jim and Jori Manske in a thought experiment exercise designed to help us become more aware of our conditioning, allowing us to make more conscious and connected choices in the face of conflict.

  6. When bullying occurs, if we do our own healing, our brains can become more sharp and present and willing to take action to connect and to begin to shift and mitigate the harm that trauma does in our world. We can reduce trauma inflicted upon others when we recognize the patterns of abuse and bullying, hold zero tolerance for it, bring in support for both sides of the conflict, and take action to effect systemic change. Read on for more.

  7. Independence vs. Interdependence in NVC

    Independence vs. Interdependence in NVC

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 4/27/2021

    For us to have a more peaceful world and relationships, growing our skills to engage interdependently is key. An interdependence-oriented person may choose to attend to both inner factors and outer factors that affect their own and others' experiences. Unfortunately, this is likely to be misunderstood by independence-oriented people as enmeshment -- and this is where conflict emerges. Read on for more.

  8. Finding Freedom In Marriage

    Finding Freedom In Marriage

    LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 10/30/2022

    Marriage can be seen as a limit on freedom. Ideas of compromise collude with this view. Instead, notice when your "yes" to your partner is laden with obligation, duty, guilt, fear, or an attempt to win love or approval, and how it's not a truly free "yes". True freedom is different from compulsion, and doesn't conflict with other needs. When have you experienced true freedom? What conditions support your access to freedom?

  9. Israel - Palestine, And - And

    Israel - Palestine, And - And

    Yoram Mosenzon

    Articles · 14 - 18 minutes · 12/2/2023

    Amidst the Israel/Palestine war we see polarizing media portrayals and the battle for public opinion. Read how one person shares his deep, personal connections to the Israel/Palestine conflict, expresses the trauma and viewpoints of both Palestinian and Israeli experiences -- in a way that aims to transcend polarizations, hold compassion, and understand the complexity on both sides. Despite the immense challenge that defies easy resolution, he holds hope, noting historical reconciliations such as the ones between Germans and Jews.

  10. From What's Fair to What's Possible

    From What's Fair to What's Possible

    Miki Kashtan

    Video · 5 minutes · 11/27/2023

    So many of us have been taught to solve conflicts by what is “fair.” However, Miki Kashtan states that fairness is a separating concept. In this video, she describes how when we do not have the conditions to care for all needs involved, when we live within separation, fairness is second best. 

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