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NVC Resources on Love

  1. Making Sure We Are Heard

    Making Sure We Are Heard

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/16/2019

    Trainer Tip: We all see through our own filters. To disentangle what we hear from some is really saying, check using understanding requests at the level of detail you need. Course correct along the way. In a charged situation this can be critical to bringing in clarity, being heard and resolving differences amicably.

  2. Releasing Our Judgments

    Releasing Our Judgments

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/22/2019

    Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a freedom I had never known before.

  3. Mediating Conflicts

    Mediating Conflicts

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/28/2019

    Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

  4. Doing Something Different

    Doing Something Different

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/3/2019

    Trainer Tip: Commit to doing one thing right now that will bring you closer to meeting a need today. Do it today. Don’t put it off. This is your life.

  5. Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

    Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/21/2019

    Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.

  6. The Top Five Deal Breakers in Relationships

    The Top Five Deal Breakers in Relationships

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/15/2020

    Trainer Tip: When considering your "deal breakers" consider what you want from a relationship rather than how it will look. For instance, maybe my need for abundance can be met by someone who is independently wealthy, so he doesn’t have to “have a good job”. When you shift your focus from strategies to needs, you may be pleasantly surprised what the universe brings. Read on for more.

  7. Empathy Doesn’t Mean Agreement

    Empathy Doesn’t Mean Agreement

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/24/2020

    Trainer tip: Empathy is about being present to a person’s feelings and needs. It is acknowledging another’s experience, not necessarily agreeing with it. If you have a different opinion than another, empathize with her first. Then, state your feelings and needs with regard to the situation.

  8. Communicating with Children

    Communicating with Children

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 10/8/2020

    Trainer tip: Empathy can offer profound learning opportunities to children, expand their feelings and needs vocabulary, and teach them the positive results of valuing everyone’s needs. Read on for a story that illustrates this.

  9. Nonviolence In The Face of Rape or Assault

    Nonviolence In The Face of Rape or Assault

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/19/2020

    Here's a brief anecdote showing how one woman was able transform a situation, where a man was about to assault or rape her. She responded in a creative way that lead them both to see each others' humanity -- navigating them both to safety. As part of her ingenuity he ended up spending the night in her house, in another room.

  10. Is Nonviolent Use of Force an Oxymoron?

    Is Nonviolent Use of Force an Oxymoron?

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 37 - 56 minutes · 11/28/2020

    What do we actually mean by “use of force” and what counts as such? Here's a template that will be unpacked in this article: "Use of force is consistent with nonviolence to the extent that we use the least amount of force possible, with the most love possible, aiming at (re)creating conditions for dialogue; that we make the choice using as much nonreactive discernment as possible, with as much support for the choice as possible, and while mourning not seeing another way to respond to a situation in which vital needs are at stake except to use force". Read on for more.

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