
NVC Resources on Healing
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When a person of color (A.K.A. a person from the Global Majority, or GM) tells a marginalization story that triggers a defensive response from a white participant in a group, to foster awareness and healing, leaders can address the white person's distress with empathy, highlighting the common dynamic of prioritizing white pain. From there, leaders can offer GM participants opportunity to share their experience and make requests of the group.
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NVC trainer Sarah Peyton explores the process of repairing relationships through the lens of Nonviolent Communication. She emphasizes the importance of self-connection and empathy—both for ourselves and others—when addressing moments of hurt or disconnection.
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Listen to this short 3 session telecourse recording with CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King, and you will learn how to honor the wisdom that your anger, fear, shame and other BIG emotions have for you.
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For many, spending time with relatives over the holidays may be challenging. In addition to the love and care we may feel, family gatherings can bring up old hurts or expose painful differences. How many family meals have been marred by tense silence or devolved into harsh argument?
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Trainer Tip: When we love a child there's a contribution we can provide in helping them go their own way successfully, in big ways and small.
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Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions. Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness. If you are not aware of amygdala activation (fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight-step process to develop your self-empathy/regulation skills.
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Because we affect one another it can be hard to know where to take responsibility and where to leave it with the other person. This means we need self empathy, and presence for another's struggles without compulsion to "make them happy" or bring them healthy change. You can then attend to the needs and to your choice about if and how you want to contribute with compassion. Respect them as autonomously in charge of their unique process of change. With this, you honor your life and theirs. And where, what, and how you will invest your precious life energy.
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Trainer Tip: When you make a request of someone, you don't diminish your relationship; you enhance it. If you receive a "no" to your request, consider brainstorming a different strategy that would meet your needs. It isn’t a sign of weakness to clarify what you would like. It helps you commit to living a full and joyful life. Look for opportunities to clarify your requests.
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"Falling out of love" is a misleading concept that can lead to feelings of helplessness in relationships. The initial intense phase of love gradually gives way to the need for intentional effort and communication. Unrealistic relationship expectations can erode connection, causing the perception of falling out of love. To address this, we can ask key questions and seek clarity to attend to unmet needs and maintain a healthy connection.
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Fear can show up as a thought or feeling. When we think and dwell on fear and get stuck, fear becomes our worst enemy. For a healthier approach, discover what brings up the emotion of fear by looking for the unmet need behind it. Next, identify the stimulus for the fear. Then satisfy the need(s) with suitable strategies. You can also reassure yourself based on the truth, evidence, and facts. Or ask a friend for support.