

NVC Resources on Judgment
-
Explore NVC as a spiritual practice through dynamic conversations on compassion and transformation.
-
Uncover self-sabotage and release unconscious contracts through empathy and neuroscience.
-
When people have a hard time communicating in a loving way (e.g. criticize, blame, shut down, act out, etc.) it can be very challenging. Using empathy-based communication we can connect to the underlying feelings and needs behind their behavior. By recognizing when to do what (empathizing, stepping back, etc), we can respond with compassion and clarity rather than reactivity.
-
Giving feedback can be a difficult task, sometimes we try to avoid getting to the point and instead end up spending a long time attempting to communicate. We find there are mostly two types of feedback. The first focuses on what is wrong with the person's behaviour and tends to feel more judgemental whereas the second is values-based feedback, focusing on the needs of the people involved.
-
This chart helps translate words that imply blame into true feelings and unmet needs.
-
What do we do when someone speaks to us in a way that doesn’t feel respectful? In this video, Oren Jay Sofer explores how NVC invites us to listen for the feelings and needs behind harsh or judgmental words — not because we “should,” but because it gives us more choice and freedom in how we respond.
-
Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic: take responsibility, provide empathy, and commit to change.
-
For this exercise choose a situation in which you have said a “yes” to someone‛s request but you didn't experience your “yes” as given freely or joyfully. Then explore judgements, feelings, needs, and alternate strategies that come up in relation to your “yes”, your “no”, and in relation to what the other person might be experiencing.
-
In this exercise choose a situation in which you got a “yes” to your request but you are not confident that it was agreed to freely or joyfully. Then explore your response to their “yes”, and possible unexpressed "no", with related observations, judgements, feelings, needs, requests, and alternate strategies that come up.
-
What are the most powerful things I can do to build an inspired relationship? I answered the question with romantic relationships in mind; however, I believe the answer below applies to all important relationships.

Quick Links
Subscription Preferences
Stay In Touch!
Looking for ways to keep up with NVC Academy news, get special offers, free resources, or words of inspiration? Here are five ways to stay engaged: