NVC Resources on Responsibility
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Tips for the Road Series Tip 13
The Eight Most Powerful Things You Can Do to Build an Inspiring Relationship
What are the most powerful things I can do to build an inspired relationship? I answered the question with romantic relationships in mind; however, I believe the answer below applies to all important relationships.
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In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between freedom and submission / rebellion.
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Trainer Tip: Ask someone what they enjoy about you being in their life. For example, “Would you tell me 3 specific reasons you enjoy having me in your life?” To a vague reply like, “Oh, you know I love you. I just like spending time with you.” Or, “You’re one of my best employees!” ask for more specificity (eg. “Can you tell me what I do and what needs it meets that makes me one of your best employees?”). This may reveal more to both of you.
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Connecting in Conflict and the Art of Navigating Dialogue
(5 Session Course)
In Yoram’s 2021 course, participants delved deeper into their NVC practice so they were better prepared to meet conflict head-on. In this 5-session series, Yoram explores: the power of empathy to change the trajectory of heated conversations embracing the internal conflicts of the different parts of ourselves how to approach differing views peacefully the use of NVC to help let go of judgments how to confidently ask for what you want
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Creating the Life You Want With Powerful Requests
(5 Session Course)
In this telecourse recording, expert trainer Miki Kashtan will help you uncover what prevents you from making requests for everything you want without fear. The class includes daily practices for requests skill building.
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Trainer tip: It's often easy for us to hear rejection when someone says “no” to us. If we focus on the rejection, we may feel hurt and fail to take the time to understand what is going on with them. However, if we focus on their feelings and needs, we're more likely to uncover what they want and what prevents them. To increase success in resolving conflicts and find solutions that work for everyone, hear the “yes” behind their "no".
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Tips for the Road Series Tip 9
Make Poetry Out of Empathy
Nonviolent Communication includes a practice of empathy that involves listening for feelings and needs no matter how someone expresses themselves, and reflecting back the feelings and needs when it is helpful to do so. You can reflect back in a traditional NVC manner, or in a more creative way, with metaphors.
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Blame is opaque when we don’t reflect on it deeply. We blame when we don’t see ourselves as having power to shape things, and see others as the ones who can. Blame and how we respond to it, is both a symptom of inability to step into power, and an impediment to empowered relationships. Transforming blame requires self-responsibility. Read on for practices involving empathy, inner connection, power, preparation and engaging options.
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Alarm Feelings
Anger, Guilt, Shame and Shut Down
Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only then choose what actions to meet needs.
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When we care about our cause and want to mitigate disaster, we may become reactive. However, transformation comes through connection, rather than convincing, judging, criticising, controlling, and making demands of others. To inspire change, get curious about how they relate to the topic – and get support for yourself elsewhere to process grief, become more present and compassionate, speak self-responsibly, and make requests.