Welcome to the NVC Library

Trainer Tip: When we respond in a way that is less than our ideal in terms of using NVC, we don't have to give up and think we are no good at NVC or that NVC doesn't work!

In this audio presentation, Jori offers clarity about the three different layers of empathy and the value of differentiating each layer. If you're looking for a daily practice for deepening your empathy skills, this is for you. 

Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

Ask the Trainer: “I heard a trainer say once that the ‘to be’ verbs aren’t really needs, such as to be heard, to be understood or to be valued. Can you help me understand why not?”

In this recorded telecourse, John Kinyon, world renowned CNVC Certified Trainer, guides you through processes to strengthen your capacity for mindful presence and awareness of your thinking, and to develop the skills to translate thoughts into observations.

An exploration of four types of feedback: destructive criticism, constructive criticism, feedback by demonstration and dialogue.

In this brief audio, Jim Manske uses a live situation to demonstrate how to use the NVC process in an apology. Jim starts by identifying the four steps to self-connection before expressing your apology.

John Cunningham provides support to deepen your understanding and practice of NVC, including a sketch of the participatory and onlooker modes of consciousness, lists of feelings, needs and sample dialogues.

Ask the Trainer: "At one point in my practice, it was brought to my attention that some people find the use of 'formal NVC' off-putting, or mechanical. Do you have any input or insight into this?"

Ask the Trainer: "What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap?"

Ask the Trainer: "I understand that I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings, but my girlfriend doesn't. Do you have ideas for how I could get her to understand this concept?"

Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."

Ask the Trainer: Can you help me connect with my needs behind the protective use of force I use with my children?

Ask the Trainer: I feel overwhelmed thinking of writing to someone with cancer. What can I do?

Ask the Trainer: Can all needs be met when illness limits the capacity of one person to meet the needs of her partner?

Ask the Trainer: How do I respond to people who believe that consequences are necessary to change behavior?

Ask the Trainer: My question is about wanting to empathize more with my husband. Sometimes we connect very deeply, other times he slips back into "jackal talk..."

Ask the Trainer: Is it a good idea to use NVC on persistent guilt, anger or depression without the aid of others?

Ask the Trainer: Is there any difference between the concept or experience of "love" and that of "empathy?"

Ask the Trainer: For many years I have been using crime and punishment (reward and consequences) to discipline because it was the only thing I knew. I knew deep in my heart it was alienating me...