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NVC Resources with Inbal Kashtan

  1. In parenting, Roxy Manning notes the tendency for self-judgment and external judgment. Roxy suggests that being a single parent or a working parent influences your ability to implement parenting strategies. The importance of assessing the feasibility of strategies in one's current life context is emphasized. Roxy encourages self-compassion and mourning the gap between desired and achievable outcomes. Her message encourages understanding personal constraints and practicing self-compassion in parenting.

  2. Navigating Uncertainty

    Navigating Uncertainty

    The Power of Present-Centered Decision-Making

    Miki Kashtan

    Video · 5 minutes · 1/8/2024

    In uncertain times, when facing important life decisions, it's common to get caught up in imagining various scenarios and potential outcomes. The desire to predict and control the future often gives a false sense of security. The key is to make decisions based on the information available now, minimizing the number of irreversible choices. This approach maintains focus on what is known and prevents getting lost in the unknown. Rigor is essential, especially when familiar pathways don't align with desired values. In times of high stakes and uncertainty, such as dealing with a health crisis, the challenge is to resist the urge to speculate on countless possibilities and instead concentrate on the facts at hand. Miki Kashtan shares how staying in the present and acting on what is currently known provided a practical and grounded approach which allowed her to stay present throughout her sister's, Inbal Kashtan, journey with cancer.

  3. Parenting With A Focus On The Long-Term Goal

    Parenting With A Focus On The Long-Term Goal

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/23/2023

    Trainer Tip: Notice when you're tempted to wield physical, emotional, and intellectual power to get your children to do what you want. This coercion or force may bring short term ease, but long term it can be counterproductive. Ask yourself “What do I want my child to do?” and “What do I want my child’s reasons for doing it to be?”. Then consider ways to help them connect to their intrinsic motivation for doing it.

  4. The NVC Tree Of Life

    The NVC Tree Of Life

    Inbal Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/24/2022

    This one page colour handout illustrates the focus options or intention options for connection: empathy (verbal and non-verbal), self expression, and self connection (opening our heart to self and/or others). It also offers some suggestions for how to say these things to self and others.
  5. Working With “No” To Deepen Self-Connection

    Working With “No” To Deepen Self-Connection

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/27/2022

    Use this exercise to stay in dialogue and connect to needs while facing a “no”. Identify a situation where you have low confidence that you'll get your needs met, and it'll be hard hearing a “no” to your request. Explore your response to the “no” by working with feelings, needs, request and alternate strategies. Thus you can work towards meeting your needs while also releasing the idea that your needs “have to” be met.

  6. Working With Others' Mixed “Yes”

    Working With Others' Mixed “Yes”

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 3 minutes · 5/21/2024

    In this exercise choose a situation in which you got a “yes” to your request but you are not confident that it was agreed to freely or joyfully. Then explore your response to their “yes”, and possible unexpressed "no", with related observations, judgements, feelings, needs, requests, and alternate strategies that come up.

  7. Working With Our Mixed “Yes”

    Working With Our Mixed “Yes”

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/29/2022

    For this exercise choose a situation in which you have said a “yes” to someone‛s request but you didn't experience your “yes” as given freely or joyfully. Then explore judgements, feelings, needs, and alternate strategies that come up in relation to your “yes”, your “no”, and in relation to what the other person might be experiencing.

  8. Here are 14 more key differentiations that are not, at time of publishing this, on the CNVC key differentiations list. They can be used to support people who are on the path of learning and integrating NVC in making sense of their own understanding of their journey and where they are within it. And it can be used to support people who share NVC with others in offering brief information in support of understanding and learning.

  9. Working With Anger

    Working With Anger

    An Exercise

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 1/22/2022

    Fully connecting to the deeper need under the anger can transform and release the anger, without requiring the other person to do anything differently. From there, you can reach an understanding of the other person's experience, feelings and needs underlying the actions that stimulated your anger to re-establish connection with your own and the other person's humanity.

  10. Compassionate Connection

    Compassionate Connection

    Nonviolent Communication with Children

    Inbal Kashtan

    Articles · 12 - 18 minutes · 1/4/2022

    Every interaction with children contains messages about who they are, who we are, and what life is like. By engaging attachment parenting and NVC we give them rare gifts in society: to know their parents well, to discover the effects of their actions without being blamed for them, and to experience the power of contributing to meeting others' needs, and the power to move towards mutually satisfying outcomes.

  11. What Is NVC? Approaches to NVC

    What Is NVC? Approaches to NVC

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/1/2021

    Here's a table outlining eight ideas people have regarding what NVC "is". It provides columns for the principle, related needs and strategies of the NVC approach. You can add to the table your own ideas for NVC approaches. Included are five sets of reflection questions to explore what speaks to you, what would expand your range of options, what brings up discomfort, and more.
  12. Transforming Children's Anger

    Transforming Children's Anger

    Inbal Kashtan

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 11/29/2021

    What parent hasn't experienced a surge of protectiveness when your child hurts their sibling? Our cultural training calls us to immediately take two roles: the judge, determining who was wrong and what the consequences will be, and the police, enforcing the consequences. These thankless jobs often result in frustration, resentment, pain, for all. Read on for an example of how empathy transformed a child's impulse to hit another child.

  13. Getting Past the Parenting "Shoulds"

    Getting Past the Parenting "Shoulds"

    Compassionate Parenting Starts With Self-Acceptance

    Inbal Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 12/8/2021

    Without self-acceptance any attempt at growth and transformation, even while parenting, can easily become a path to self-judgments and another yardstick against which to measure ourselves as falling short. Instead, we can practice 1 minute a day or more, or while doing other tasks, to develop the self-compassion and self-acceptance needed to grow both new habits and our capacity to meet our children with calm and compassion.

  14. Crafting Connection Requests

    Crafting Connection Requests

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 11/14/2021

    Try this four step exercise for making connection requests to support understanding, and to learn what effect your words had on the listener. In this exercise you'll choose a situation where you have clarity about what outcome will really work for you (your solution request), but where you imagine your desired outcome may not work for the other person, and/or are not sure there is sufficient connection for mutual trust.

  15. Connecting with Ourselves

    Connecting with Ourselves

    An NVC Foundation for Inner Trust and Freedom

    Inbal Kashtan

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 11/16/2020

    True inner freedom arises from self-connection. Without self-connection, we're mostly acting from habits, and those habits do not necessarily attend to our own needs. Here's a practice you can explore in your daily life to deepen your relationship with yourself, and experience true choice and inner freedom.

  16. Communicating with Children

    Communicating with Children

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 10/8/2020

    Trainer tip: Empathy can offer profound learning opportunities to children, expand their feelings and needs vocabulary, and teach them the positive results of valuing everyone’s needs. Read on for a story that illustrates this.

  17. Parenting with Nonviolent Communication

    Parenting with Nonviolent Communication

    Inbal Kashtan

    Articles · 16 - 24 minutes · 4/23/2019

    This article aims to discuss shifting fully from power-over to sharing power in families; turning power struggles into dilemmas.  It focuses on the topic of living in a partnership paradigm as a family...

  18. Power Relations and Connection Across Differences in US Society

    Power Relations and Connection Across Differences in US Society

    An NVC Perspective (4 Session Course)

    Inbal Kashtan, Roxy Manning

    Multi-session Course · 3 hours, 17 minutes · 10/5/2017

    Join CNVC Certified Trainers Inbal Kashtan and Roxy Manning, for a passionate and intimate exploration of how NVC can support personal and social transformation in the area of power relations and social divisions.

  19. Parenting from Your Heart - Q&A

    Parenting from Your Heart - Q&A

    Inbal Kashtan

    Audio · 1 hour, 4 minutes · 9/4/2010

    Please join us as we remember the work and life of Inbal Kashtan. She offered this parenting Q&A session in NVC Academy's 2013 Parenting Conference.

  20. Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

    Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 8 - 10 minutesd · 7/29/2010

    NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.
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