Jim and Jori offer a tip to stay present in the face of our reactivity to witnessed conflict.
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Jim and Jori offer a tip to stay present in the face of our reactivity to witnessed conflict.
Most of us subject ourselves to so many painful mental jabs and they seldom stimulate helpful change. We can be like a frustrated animal trainer repeatedly whipping an animal, without ever helping the animal to understand what behavior is wanted or offering encouragement. Instead, punishing thoughts can be stepping stones to awareness. We can focus on sensing what we're really aspiring to. This is more likely to eventually produce sustainable change that'll serve us better.
Video
1 hour, 8 minutes
04/17/2024
Enjoy Dian Killian's overview of the 4-step NVC model and its application to the workplace.
Some arguments stay stuck because each person thinks it's about the content of the argument, rather than the needs each person is attempting to protect. When the needs get attached to the strategies a "no way out" scenario gets created. Instead, fully step into one another's worlds and connect to the feelings and needs behind the strategy each party is putting forth. Read on for six elements to creating empathic connection.
Article
6 - 9 minutes
3/2021
Someone may give more weight to your ideas, decisions, and directives based on your experience and what you've learned. This could influence them to project their ideals, fears, hopes, and more onto you. In this case, you can help transform this and contribute to their connection to their own agency, authenticity, and self-trust -- while supporting their ability to learn from what you have to offer.
Join veteran Mediators and Facilitators, Jori and Jim Manske in using Nonviolent Communication and mediation skills for transforming conflict into connection between yourself and others.
Trainer Tip: When we acknowledge our met needs, rather than labeling the other person as good or bad, we achieve a clarity of mind that deepens our connection to ourselves and other people.
In the "obnoxious stage" we care for our needs in a way that doesn't respect others' needs. In the "emotional liberation" stage we fully care for others' needs as much as our own—while being free of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation. Often NVC training teaches us how to achieve the latter stage without the former. For greater compassion we can be more rigorous in how we talk about “responsibility", impacts and interdependence.
Trainer Tip: Whether there is the potential of physical or emotional violence, listening deeply to the underlying needs of the people in conflict can be swift, direct, and healing. Look for opportunities to defuse conflicts by reflecting the feelings and needs of the other person.